If you are worried about the mental health of someone you know, it is often difficult to start having a conversation about it. Tracy Margieson from the Wellbeing Collective has a 4 stage process to help you have the confidence to get the conversation happening.
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Hi. I’m Tracy Margieson and I work in learning and organizational development at Arts Centre Melbourne, where I have the great privilege of managing the Arts Wellbeing Collective. During the course of the Arts Wellbeing Collective pilot program we were often asked, “How do I talk to someone about mental health? I know they’re struggling, but just I don’t know what to say.” Well, we’ll be rolling out accredited Mental Health First Aid as part of the new Arts Wellbeing Collective program, but I’m guessing that you don’t want to sit there for 12 hours while I deliver Mental Health First Aid to you. So instead, here’s a quick tip about how you can get this conversation happening because it is such an important conversation to have.
The first thing to consider is your own head space. Are you okay to have a conversation about mental health and to take the time to listen? Make sure you’re in the right frame of mind. Then, think about what it is that you’ve noticed that’s caused you concern. You’re not looking to diagnose someone with a mental illness. Only a qualified clinician can do that. But what are those signs and symptoms that have you worried? Behavior change is key here. You wanna look for behavior change. So someone who’s normally the life of the party is much quieter. Someone who’s always on time starts arriving late. Your friends who’s usually immaculately dressed just starts looking a bit disheveled. It’s the behavior change that you wanna look out for.
Once you’ve noticed something that’s caused you concern, this can help lead your conversation. So your opening question might be along the lines of, “I’ve noticed you’re a bit quieter than usual, what’s been going on for you?” Often we can be worried about upsetting or offending someone. Your protection here is your genuine care and concern for the person. You’re not trying to ask and get gossip, you’re not trying to embarrass them or shame them, you’re genuinely concerned about them.
Once you have asked that opening question, listen without judgment to their response. You wanna use all your best listening skills here. So open body language, clarifying questions and sitting patiently with silence. Then you want to encourage the person to seek support and appropriate professional help. You don’t need to diagnose anyone, you don’t need to fix anything yourself or treat the problem. You’re just starting this conversation, listening, empathizing and encouraging them to seek support.
If someone doesn’t want to talk, express that you’re open to chatting if they ever want to touch base with you in the future. And again, keep that focus on your genuine care and concern for that person. If hearing this has concerned you for your own mental health, I strongly recommend that you seek help. The earlier that someone seeks help the more quickly they will recover and the more quickly you could get back to doing all the amazing things that you do so well. As a starting point visit beyondblue.org.au or phone Lifeline on 13 11 14.
I hope this helps give you the confidence and a starting point to check in with someone that you’re concerned about. If you’d like to find out more about us Arts Centre Melbourne or the Arts Wellbeing Collective, visit at artswellbeingcollective.com.au and subscribe to our AWnews because our new program will be launched in July 2018. Thank you.